Yay It's My Birthday! =D

I am a year older today! Woohoo! =) Birthdays are always bittersweet, you know? I don't really act like it, but I LOVE them. I've loved them since I was a kid. Nowadays though, whenever my birthday comes around I act like a depressed mess. (Not really, but I kind of lay low on the "acting excited" part xD) I was really sad on my last teen year, and ever since I was 20 it's never really been the same. It's stupid, but I feel like now that I'm not longer in my teen years I have to act like an adult and not really care about my birthday. So that's what I've been doing.

What I really, REALLY miss though are my awesome birthday parties as a kid. When I would go to like...Chuckie Cheese and have a table in front of those creepy mechanical figures and they sang happy birthday to me and the mascots came out and we took picssss and all my friends were thereee and there were all these balloons and cake and streamers and signs and -- yeah. Those were the days. The last birthday that was like that I think was my 20th bday when my friend Toki threw a scavenger hunt for me. That was AWESOME. And so fun! I love love LOVED that and it's something I will never forget. =) Other than that though... blah. I'm the kind of person who LOVES it when I go to a restaurant and someone says it's my birthday. Even though I act embarrassed. It is just an act. Really. xD

Even though nothing ever really happens on my birthday anymore though, I still love them. I think that's something facebook is good for. I don't really like facebook, but I admit, broadcasting your birthday to all your friends can really make you feel special. Last night right at 12am my phone kept going off with people sending me messages and texts and stuff like that. It was really, really nice. Before I went to sleep it was cool to see that thing on my phone that said "37 new comments..."

=)

Another thing I will admit -- I am a comment whore. I don't act like it, but getting a comment or a text is like Christmas to me. Or my birthday. Or just opening a present. I get this warm fuzzy feeling. =D So now my comment count is at 66 and I feel super super happy. Thank you facebook for slapping my birthday in everyone's face so they go comment on my page! =D Haha.

Does that sound pathetic? I don't care. Being at work on your birthday sucks, so having my iPhone go off all day with birthday greetings is really all I look forward to. I remember having your birthday at school was cool, because your friends would like write notes to you and stick a post-it on you or something saying like "HUG ME IT'S MY BIRTHDAY" or whatever. But being at work on this day, especially MY work...really sucks. I don't work in some huge office where it's lively and there's a buncha people. There are only like 5 people in my office...so it's quiet.

I came in this morning and was like "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!" and my boss was like "What are you, like 19?" Sigh.

Another thing too, I was like almost an hour late. I WANTED SLEEP! But I woke up at like 7:35...and I usually leave at 7 (and even then I worry that I'll get here late). And then I realized I really HAVE NO CLOTHES TO WEAR for work! SOOOOO in my rushing I threw on these pants with a broken zipper! I already KNEW the zipper was broken, but I honestly had no more options for clothes. So whenever I get up, or even when I'm just sitting at my desk, I have to constantly pull my shirt over my bulging piece of fat coming out of my pants D:!!! SIIIIGHHH. HORRIBLE! I FEEL SO FAT!!! GAHHHHRRR!!!

So yeah. As I sit here, bummed about being at work on my birthday, all I want is to rush out and go to Disneyland. But I know that won't happen, so I just stare at my phone and smile when I hear a new vibration. In between those moments of consolation, I wonder how my life ended up this way, and dream for something better.

Sigh.

I am BEYOND excited for my analytical figure drawing classes at CDA next month.

Thank you to all my friends and family who support me...visit this blog...and are kind enough to send me a little message on my birthday. Or even to talk to me at all. I really appreciate it, more than you can imagine. =)

Dang that was a long entry. O___O I wonder if anyone is gonna read this... haha. Oh well. At least it made me feel better. =)